Babies Babies Everywhere

Lately I have been noticing the way Ian talks about his daughter like she is the light of his world and his whole day is made when he gets to see that little girl. I hear my talk about the way her boyfriend looks and an is with his son. On facebook, all these friends I would hangout with at school or even here talking about their new babies and gushing over the littlest things. Seeing an old coworkers pictures of her little chubchub and thinking about how just about a year ago she never would have thought she and he husband would be ready for a child this soon. See the way she holds him and loves him, how he can do no wrong. Pictures of how adorable he is and the perfect balance between his two parents that shows in his face alone.
Yesterday at Bowcraft, I was able to spend most of the day with a little boy I know and his grandmother and just go around the park with him. He was soo cute with the excitement about the smallest things and looking up at me asking me if we can go on this ride or do this activity and reacting like I am the best person in the world when I say yes. Or even watching him push my hands away because he can make the plane go up and down all by himself because he was a big boy. It really made me feel like I'm falling behind.
There was a family in our ward and I cared for those kids for a little more then a year and a half. The first day I took care of them, the baby was born and for that time, I was able to see her grow from the 3 hour old thing I held at the hospital to the crazy thing crawling around the house grabbing everything in her way to her saying hi and bye to me like shes a big girl. They just moved and I feel like I don't have any one to look after or care for. I didn't feel the need to have a child of my own because I was going through the motions with these children, Max's first day of school, and Ava's first Hanna Montana party. Once they left though I seriously felt like something was missing. Then I notice more vividly the place that most of my friends are at in their lives caring for their own little ones.
I have been feeling the want to be a mother. To have my own little 3 year old to chance around the rinky dink Rt 22 amusement park. To know that just my presence will calm down my child. To feel like I am rearing and teaching and nurturing another who will look to me for everything and who I can love as unconditionally and I have observed Richard and Ian with their daughters.
Then here I am today looking though movies on Demand and on the one screen alone you see; Nine Months, Object of my Affection, The Pacifier, and Parenthood. I just don't know how to react other then to rant because these children are following me, and there is nothing I can d about it but sit back and feel like that should be me, but what am I supposed to do about it.