Why should I expect Anything Else

I am at the point in my life where I expect men to be mean and rude to me. I fear the reaction I might have if I person of the male persuasion is actually nice to me. Cory calls me out of the blue for no reason not something he ever does to say 3 times, I called the wrong number, couldn't even be bothered to say Hi how are you doing? Haven't spoken to you in a while. Then Andre invites me to hang out with him today so I drive the half hour it takes to get to him for him to act like I'm imposing myself on him, like I'm boring him and why did I even come down. To 15 minutes later say, take me home my fiends are coming over and I wanna chill with them bye. All this and all I can think to myself is why should I expect anything different, This is how most of the men in my life treat me so why should I expect to be treated differently. Who am I to expect any type of different treatment then that of an old beaten up play toy that you only look at when you're bored. Why should I even think to want to see Cory more then once a month? Why should I expect Andre to be happy to see me after I went out of my way to go hang out with him? Why? These men's behaviors are not any different then what I am used to. So why do I constantly find myself expecting more. Who am I to expect anything more or anything different. Nychole and I were watching Rent today and there is a line that says "I'd be happy to Die for a Taste of What Angel had, Someone to live for, Unafraid to say I Love You" I have to laugh because who am I to expect that I should ever be honored enough to have anything remotely close to that.